1 January, 1997@12:00 am
White Plains, NY – Crowds of people witnessed a shocking scenario at the Galleria of White Plains shopping mall this afternoon. What looked to be just another dispute between two former companions, was actually the result of selfishness and total disregard for the other persons feelings. The three involved in the dispute were Q-tip and Phife Dawg, formerly of the rap group A Tribe Called Quest, and rap superstar Busta Rhymes.
Apparently, Phife had just finished shopping at The Gap, and had picked up a Cinnabon and an Orange Julius from the mall’s food court. Phife had quickly lost his appetite, when he noticed his former partner, Q-Tip, sharing a Hot-Dog-On-A-Stick with Busta Rhymes.
“It…was like that feeling you get when you hit the drop on the roller coaster at Coney Island. My eyes… they immediately filled up with tears… I couldn’t even speak,” said a still broken up Phife Dawg. “Tip had told me that he was going to do an in-store apperance in Brooklyn, but it was so obvious that… that… he….lied to me!”
According to witnesses, Q-Tip pretended not to notice Phife, trying to cover his face with his hand. Phife then approached the couple, and began shouting at Q-Tip, while Busta tried to calm him down.
“No! You don’t understand,” whined Busta, “It’s not what you think, really!”
At this point, Phife really wasn’t paying attention to Busta, and Q-Tip had made matters even worse by completely ignoring Phife and saying “Say Busta, shouldn’t we head over to the studio now?” in snide and snobby way.
Apparently, the dispute reached full scale when Phife emptied the contents of his Orange Julius onto Q-Tip’s brand new sweater from Abercrombie and Finch. Q-Tip stood there in complete shock, mouth wide open, looking at his soiled outfit in amazement. Phife then ran out of the mall, in a crying fit.
Just at that moment, TV’s Screech walked up and tried to light heartedly smoothen the situation by saying “Well, Tip, orange ya glad he didn’t stop at Starbucks?”
The argument was over almost as soon as it began.
“I don’t know what he thinks. We’re broken up, and that’s it. It’s over, and we aren’t getting back together. But, he keeps trying to interfere with my life, and he’s, like, totally freaking out over nothing,” said Q-Tip.
“I’m not exactly sure I want to…. well…. do stuff with Q-Tip after this,” said Busta Rhymes.
At this point, the status of the relationship between Busta and Q-Tip is up in the air, and A Tribe Called Quest still remains broken up.
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