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1 January, 1997@12:00 am

ATLANTA, GA – As part of the comeback celebration and release of the new album Crown Royal, Reverend Run of Run DMC was recently pulled off of stage with a wooden cane, during one of the tour dates on the “Xtreme Summer Thrash Tour” – a tour shared with Limp Bizkit, Kid Rock, Sugar Ray, and Nelson.

While billed on many of the promos and fliers that Run DMC would be performing on the tour, Reverend Run was the only member of the group who actually appeared at each of the tour dates. According to several roadies, the Reverend did not see this as a problem, because most of the songs on his new album, “Crown Royal”, “don’t feature the other members of the group, anyway”.

Crowds were somewhat perplexed as the holy Reverend performed incomplete versions of Run DMC classics – each of these songs lasting only a minute long, no longer than one verse each.

“It was really strange, like, he would go through the first verse of ‘Sucker MC’s’, and then after his part was done, he would throw the mic down on stage, fold his arms, and start babbling about how he paved the way, and that we should all bow to the king or something,” said one fan, “He did it after every song. I was just like, ‘what-ever’!”
Fans say that when Run did share the stage with others, it was mostly for newer songs from Crown Royal, such as “Them Girls” with Fred Durst and “The School Of Old” with Kid Rock. Many of the other songs from the new album, such as “Queens Day”, featuring Nas and Prodigy, were not performed, due to the fact that the artists they were originally recorded with don’t really like Run, and neglected to make an appearance.

“I didn’t go on tour because this shit’s embarrassing,” said Prodigy, “He wanted everybody who got on his album to go on the tour and shit, and all hold hands on stage with him like it’s motherfuckin’ Live-Aid or some shit. Fuck that, we all held his hand in the studio making that wack ass album!”

Things came to a boiling point at the Atlanta show, during a performance of “It’s Over”, with Jermaine Dupri. Midway through the performance, the Atlanta audience of forty-two was shocked and relieved, as Reverend Run was suddenly, in true vaudevillian fashion, pulled off-stage by a mysterious wooden walking cane – one who’s heroic wielder still remains anonymous. Dupri, who was described by audiences as a “minstrel-like, miniature, court jesting type of figure”, proceeded to yell and scream at the audience, but many were confused if he was in fact screaming at them, or just performing his vocals from “It’s Over”.

Reports say that since the incident, the Reverend has dropped off the tour and is simply relaxing at home. Friends and family say that things seem a lot happier at Run’s house, since he decided it was time to take off his Adidas.

  Mixtape D.L.
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