20 February, 2010@2:38 pm
In an effort to increase music sales, members of the country’s largest record labels have gotten together to plan a terrorist attack on U.S. soil and follow it up with an all-star benefit track called “Save The Music And America, America” it was revealed Friday.
“With sales in the toilet, we thought to ourselves that we have to think of new, creative ways to get people to buy music again,” said Lance Whitman, chairperson of the Bureaucratic Alliance of Lawfully Litigating Songwriters, or B.A.L.L.S., for short.
“I came up with the idea of toppling the Capitol Records building during rush hour on a busy weekend,” said Whitman, “It would spill over on to the California freeway, thousands would die. Then we could make a song about it to benefit the victims and sell millions!”
Although initially many of the artists were apprehensive about the plan, it seems like more than enough are on board to record the song, and help plant the explosives.
“Oh, we’ve got a huge all-star line-up on this one. 47 different singers and rappers. So far we’ve got Pebbles, Men Without Hats, Ying Yang Twinz, DMX, Yanni…. It’s going to be huge,” said Whitman. “Oh yeah, and Justin Bieber. Gotta have The Bieber.”
“Our next move is to fake the death of Whitney Houston,” he added. “Either that or assassinate her, one-a-the-two.”
Leave a Reply
- Raekwon Sets A Release Date For “F.I.L.A.” Album
- BUSH: A Snoop Odyssey Produced By Pharrell Williams [Preview]
- Drake – “If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late” Surprise Album on iTunes Now
- Action Bronson “Mr. Wonderful” Cover Art and Tracklist
- Juicy J “Blue Dream & Lean 2″ Mixtape Cover Art & Release Date Revealed
- MF Grimm “MF Love Songs” Cover Art + Tracklist
- Lord Hakim – “Brass Knucklez” (feat. Vast Aire & Phizz Ed)
- IAMSU! – “Hella Good” (feat. Tyga)
- DJ Kay Slay – “I Declare War” (feat. Styles P, Sheek Louch, Vado, Raekwon, & Rell)
- Maverick Sabre – “We Don’t Wanna Be” (feat. Joey Bada$$)
- Cannibal Ox – “Blade: Art of Ox” (feat. Artifacts & U-God; prod. Black Milk)
- Asher Roth – “Blow Your Head” (prod. Nottz)