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10 March, 2010@9:34 am

Soulja Boy just dropped his new “2 Milli” video, as an accomplishment for reaching 2 million Twitter fans. Congratulations, Soulja Boy. Now we’re going to tell you what we think of your video.

00:14 – The enigmatic, powerful Soulja Boy stands there, contemplating the stark white background he stands upon, looking down at the ground, pensive, meditative. Swag, yet to be turned on.

00:24 – Oh shit, magical computers popping up out of thin air, accompanied by sexy female voice that greets him. He’s on some futuristic 3000-and-8 shit, god.

00:36 – Wait, what did he just say?

00:51 – He’s standing, praying, as he goes up in an elevator, rapping. The CG animation rivals Avatar.

00:56 – Oooooh, the beat just kicked in. Yeah, that’s smooth. Who produced this, Yanni? Enya? Slamming.

01:12 – “Similar To Nas….” Ah…. no, that is incorrect.

01:23 – The Tom Brady / Slim Shady line must have been what Kanye was talking about when he said Soulja Boy was really starting to go hard. Nice touch with the computerized helmet. OH SHIT IT’S GONE.

01:28 – He takes a brief intermission, but promises to return with “more bars than a motherfuckin’ prison”. Ha, we get it, “bars”. Ill with the similes, sun.

01:30 – Yo, he just put his Twitter page IN THE VIDEO. And the Twitter bird is there doing backflips! So dope.

01:37 – Ooooh. I don’t think he saw the bird. Poor thing.

02:31 – Got wrapped up in his crazy wordplay for a second there. The robots just brought his Lambo.

02:50 – “I’m spittin’ real shit, these n***as spittin’ Karaoke”.  But he’s reading the words of the screen. Eh, whatever.

03:00 – Chain caught fire from hot bars he’s been spitting the last 30 seconds. “Like a dragon”, even.

03:24 – “Hip-Hop Is dead, n***** let me resurrect it”, he said.

03:29 – HE JUST RHYMED IN SPANISH! Latin rappers, he’s coming for you too.

03:45 – Intermission 2. Fat shout to @hoppedupoutthebedturnmyswagon.

03:49 – The URL just floated across the screen again and it looks VERY realistic. Strange, the Worldstar one disappeared for this segment…

04:04 – “I’m the new best rapper.” Tell them, Soulja Boy.

04:24 – “Don’t make pop music, so there ain’t no poppin’ me.” Ummm…. We don’t want to tell him, do you?

04:47 – He’s really running with that “best rapper” thing.

Yeah, pretty much the best video ever. Retweet this.

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0 Responses to "A Play-By-Play Analysis Of Soulja Boy "2 Milli" Video."
  • KC says:

    Ho. Lee. Shit.

  • Chester says:

    Worst. Thing. Ever.

  • amanalone says:

    By the way, I was kidding about you guys supporting him here.

  • x says:

    Ghost Writer. Re-Used Beat (Lil B – I’m God). Horrible Song.

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