15 December, 2010@9:21 am
10. California Swag District – “Teach Me How To Dougie” – We will never, ever understand the appeal of this song. Somehow, it manages to still rock the party, despite being void of any energy whatsoever. Back it up and dump it.
9. The Game – “400 Bars” – Damn, Game killed Jay Electronica’s “Exhibit C” beat. And by killed it, we mean he rapped on it non-stop for 20+ minutes, making it so we’d never want to hear it again. Thank god for Skee’s jackin’ for beats mix.
8. Nicki Minaj – “Right Thru Me” – We couldn’t figure out which Nicki single bothered us the most, but “Right Thru Me” is probably it. She came with it on everyone else’s singles, but when it came to her own she went for pure bubblegum. Nicki, we love you girl, and we know you can do better.
7. Lil Chuckee – “Warmin Up” – Not only did this song suck, it also had one of the most logic-defying videos of the year. What this video says is “It’s Lil Chuckee’s world, we’re just all living in it.” Except that it’s not.
6. YG – “Toot It and Boot It” – Can’t front on the beat; we could hear O.D.B. circa ’94 on top of it. It’s the lyrics that make this song so, so terrible. This song is about piece-of-garbage, YG, tricking some girl into bed and then laughing at her when she tells him she loves him. The human race deteriorates every time this record is played. Idiocracy, here we come!
5. Antoine Dodson – “The Bed Intruder Song” – Good thing that Antoine Dodson’s sister almost got raped, otherwise the world would never had heard this song. His accidental celebrity naturally turned itself into a hit single, thanks to the magic of autotune. Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your ears.
4. Soulja Boy – “Pretty Boy Swag” - We “get” the appeal of Soulja Boy songs like “Crank Dat” and “Turn My Swag On”. There’s definitely something to be said for the camaraderie both tracks create when dropped in the club. However Pretty. Boy. Swag. We. DoNot. Get. That’s. Because. TheSong. HasARhythm. Like. This. We imagine any capable rapper could have torn the Fisher Price-branded beat apart in double or triple time, Soulja Boy decides to do 1 word per bar. “He spit a hot 16 words, son”.
3. Travis Porter – “Make It Rain” – Then of course there’s the unofficial sequel to “Pretty Boy Swag” with the same one-syllable flow, with – bonus – some of the worst female vocals ever delivered. Didn’t Fat Joe cover this topic 5 years ago? Put your shirts on, fellas.
2. MC Hammer – “Better Run Run” – Hammer’s big idea to return to the game was to dis Jay-Z by accusing him of being a devil worshiper. Come on, dude.
1. Yung Humma & Flynt Flossy – “Lemmie Smang It” – At first we thought this was a joke, but then we discovered that these guys have been making songs like this for a while now. Here, the duo can’t decide which way they want to fuck said shorty. Shall they (A) smash it or (B) bang it? Instead, they go for a new option, to “Smang It (Smash It and Bang It)”. Actually, this shit is brilliant. Who are we kidding?
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