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We decided to skip the “Biggest Songs Of The Year” or “Best Club Bangers” list, for a few reasons. One, we can’t tell good from bad when we are drunk in the club, two, this shit has been covered ad nauseum, and three, it makes us feel like we’re at work. We’re tired enough of playing “Look At Me Now”, so forget asking us to blurb about it. Instead, we’re going to cover the ten worst songs of the year. We’d be just fine if we never heard any of these ever again….

10. Flo-Rida – “Good Feeling” – The trend of ripping off big house songs for top 40 rap tracks was perfected by Flo-Rida and Pitbull a few years ago, and they almost had the timing right with songs like “Krazy” and “Hotel Room”. But with “Good Feeling”, Flo-Rida had no problem going right after Avicii’s massive Etta James sample-driven “Levels”, before it had a chance to blow up itself. And not only that, Avicii’s perfectly mixed piano stabs were traded for some white-washed acoustic gee-tar licks. So here’s a paradox for you: Is a Bingo Players remix of “Good Feeling” that doesn’t feature Flo-Rida actually a remix of “Levels”?

9. Nicki Minaj – “Roman In Moscow” – What happened here? Sure, the original Pink Friday didn’t exactly live up to expectations, but surely we thought Nicki would come correct with her second LP. This started out okay, but then goes off into left field and loses us completely, as Nicki channels her inner O.D.B. or something, triple dog daring and all. Leave this off your album, darlin’.

8. Bruno Mars – “The Lazy Song” – So, shame on us for even posting the above video, as it has clocked over 258 million views already. So please, don’t click on it, unless you want to hear Bruno rhyme “dougie” with “Snuggie”. Disposable pop trash at it’s worst.

7. Lil Wayne – “How To Love” - How did Lil Wayne follow-up “6 Foot 7 Foot”? With this auto-tuned, adult contemporary love song. Picking this song as a single is like the equivalent to putting a sticker on Tha Carter IV album cover that says “This Album Is Highly Likely To Suck”. And guess what? It does. But what do you expect from a guy who’s not allowed to smoke or drink?

6. Kirko Bangz – “What Yo Name Iz” – Aside from the fact that this cat doesn’t know how to correctly form a sentence, Mr. Charming here has a handful of auto-tuned pick-up lines to impress the ladies, such as “I swear to god I tell that pussy to get over here / like I am Scorpion, no Mortal Kombat” and “Like Sean Michaels, swear to god I hope the little woman got Gieco”. Aside from all the oath-taking he does late night in the club, this dude’s, uh, “name is” a play on “Kurt Cobain”. Get it? “Kirko Bangz”. You know, because of how similar they are to one another.

5. Plies – “Just The Tip” – We didn’t think Plies could come up with a song more offensively ignorant that “Becky”. Shows what we know. This date rape anthem is exactly what the title suggests it is.

4. 50 Cent – “I’m On It” – 50 seemed to please the streets with his Big 10 mixtape late last year, but he hasn’t been able to create a compelling club jam, as each attempt is worse than the one before it. Not sure if he’s trying to channel his inner-Mike D with that hook, but either way it’s terrible. If this is any indication, Interscope’s been doing him a favor by keeping his album in the vault….

3. Will.I.Am and Company – “The Megaupload Megasong” – This isn’t a song. It’s a megasong. While we appreciate the movement behind “The Megaupload Megasong”, the execution was terrible. Will.I.Am leads with a sort of paired down, Bob Marley-esque acoustic guitar style, but instead of singing about love lost or freedom, he’s singing about a file-sharing site. “Megaaaaaaaaa / Uploooooooooooad,” he cries. Mix in some audio samples of celebrities in hallways saying “M-M-M-egaupload” and you have one of the strangest tracks of the year.

2. Gucci Mane – “Burr” – BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. This is what happens when we allow semi-retarded individuals to have record deals.

1. Future – “Tony Montana” – Where did Future come up with such an original song idea? You know, this song is so innovative that he could probably get with Brian DePalma or somebody and make a MOVIE of it! Oh, wait….

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31 Responses to "HHS 2011 Year-In-Review: The 10 Worst Songs Of The Year"
  • TheU says:

    Alright Pizzo, I gotta call you out on partially giving these artists (I use that term loosely)props. I’ll demonstrate by quoting your comments.

    #9. “What happened here? Sure, the original Pink Friday didn’t exactly live up to expectations, but surely we thought Nicki would come correct with her second LP”.

    Huh?! Actually Pink Friday did live up to my expectations. It was garbage so why would I expect her to come correct. I’ve seen no flashes of brilliance to make me think otherwise. Bubble gum rap at it’s finest.

    #7. “How did Lil Wayne follow-up “6 Foot 7 Foot”? With this auto-tuned, adult contemporary love song.

    You asked that question like “6 Foot 7 Foot” was a banger. That was wack as hell too. So I expected him to follow with something equally as wack if not wacker.

    #4. 50 seemed to please the streets with his Big 10 mixtape late last year, but he hasn’t been able to create a compelling club jam, as each attempt is worse than the one before it.

    Most of these buffoons please the streets. That’s why we know who they are and have come to loathe their music. When I first heard of him, I thought “How to Rob” was OK because of it’s concept. When “In The Club” came out, I thought it was wack and I’ve been tuning out ever since. Delivery-wise I think he’s another Mase clone (uninspired delivery)and when you base your delivery on someone wack, you are wack by default.

    #2. “BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. This is what happens when we allow semi-retarded individuals to have record deals.”

    Whether he is semi-retarded or not, I don’t know. My Mother worked for years with mentally challenged students/clients and I took it upon myself to never make fun of someone about an issue they can’t fix or readily change (ie, morbidly obese, amputee, burn victim, contagious disease, etc.) I can’t support you on that comment. However, I can tell you that I think that he’s an idiot. What type of self-respecting, African-American drops an album (BAYTL)with a white chick that uses the N-word when she raps. Some artists jumped to her defense (such as Trina and Mistah F.A.B.) but I would like to hear from a broader range of artists (such as Chuck D, Boots Riley, Paris, Brother J, Willie D, Wise Intelligent, Bumpy Knuckles, etc.). Maybe he’s been heavily sedated like Tyson was when Robin Givens ran him down.

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