Maybe with Dr. Dre’s sale of Beats Electronics to Apple, we may finally see a release date for his final album, Detox. Fans have been waiting for it for so long, that they’ve taken matters into their own hands. Yes, the innanet has decided that if Dre won’t finish Detox, then they will finish it for him! Here are 10, terribly Photoshopped fake Detox album covers from the deepest corners of the internet. Viewer Discretion Advised: you will not be able to unsee some of these images.
10. Detox: What Could Have Been: Ah yes, if only. Feast your eyes upon this beautifully rendered, imaginary cover by Trid Tha Kid, giving only a fleeting glimpse of what could have been the album cover for Detox. Can’t you see, Dr. Dre? Can’t you see what could have been!?! THIS!
9. “The Walking Detox” – What will happen first, the undead apocalypse, or Detox? Be it the former, Zombie Dr. Dre will attempt to market and release Detox to the hordes of Z-Day, without worry of anyone leaking it to the now offline internet. Dre’s looking a little long in the tooth here.
8. Generic Detox – This one follows the post-millennial tradition of the “photo-of-artist-plus-fonts” album cover, used on best-selling magnum opuses like Mase’s Welcome Back and Ja Rule’s Pain Is Love. Oh look, they used the 2001 font. Surely this is real.
7. “Xerox Detox” – Washed out photo of Dr. Dre, with slightly arched, crackling “Detox” text in red, and photocopied image of Southern California restaurant for the background. Platinum, bitch.
6. D.E.T.O.X.: The Acronym - How huge is Dr. Dre now? Everything black in this photo is his T-shirt.
5. Impact Detox – Whoa, Dre looks like he needs a detox for real here. Lay off the sticky-icky, greeny green. Doc’s orders.
4. SJoynson Presents…. Detox – We have to say, it’s a good thing that SJoynson watermarked the shit out of this potential Detox album cover. This way, Interscope can’t use it without his permission. Great thinking buddy.
3. Detox: Gateway Drug Edition – Ah that makes sense. The natural progression from Dre’s past weed smoking days would be to move on to heroin. Explains the delay, too.
2. Detox Is Eminem’s Album Now: Yo, what the hell is going on here? Seriously, look at this shit. Drug dealing goblins with backwards baseball caps. This is the internet clearly not giving a fuck at all.
1. Detox: Art Director Versus Artist – Imagine, if you will, that this were the real cover for Detox. The job-description handed down to the graphic artist might have read something like this: “We want a huge picture of the Dre’s face. HUGE. We want it so close, that the top of his head is cropped off. And really dark. So you can’t really see it, in a way. Then really big, we want the title of the album, which is DETOX: 2011: The Mixtape. But we want it in separate corners. Maybe the “Detox” part goes over his forehead, then the “2011″ part goes on his face, a little. Don’t even put Dr. Dre’s name on there. He’s a fucking icon, you peon. He doesn’t need his name on the cover. People know who the fuck he is! Jesus. Okay, then we want A LOT of marijuana leaves. A ton. I want a fucking Gucci Bag pattern of marijuana leaves on this thing. Just put them all over the place. Everywhere! Brilliant…. Oh, also, checks will be delayed 3 weeks. Sorry.”
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