1 January, 1997@6:00 pm
Bronx, NY – In an attempt to reach out to the urban community, McDonald’s latest television commercial has ruined the potential careers of five aspiring Bronx rappers, in less time than it takes to get a Big Mac Value Meal at the Drive-Thru. The commercial, which features five street kids rapping in a circle about the quality of service and diverse menu that the restaurant has to offer, is currently airing on BET.
“Well the Blacks are cool again,” said McDonald’s spokesperson Jerry Murdock, “They’ve helped us sell a lot of Hamburgers with their raps.”
Unfortunately, what the emcees involved didn’t realize prior to recording the commercial, was that starring in the commercial has not helped, but only hindered their chances of getting signed to a major record deal.
“I actually thought that this would help get me some exposure,” said M.C. Fly-Dee. “But the only changes I have notices is that everyone in my neighborhood now calls me McFly.”
“I didn’t really have a choice in whether or not to do the commercial. I have nothing,” said Bronx rapper, Conquest. “These guys came to our street and offered each us $500 to do what we do everyday outside anyway, and we were like, ‘why not’?”
Apparently, this is not the first time that Ronald and friends have exploited African-Americans and hip-hop culture in their commercials.
“I did a commercial with my roommate for Mickey D’s, about ten years ago. At first, everything was like ‘Proper!’,” said former commercial star, Daryl Reeves, “But when they paid me in Monopoly game pieces, I realized I was getting fucked.”
“They asked me to do this one commercial for them, and in it I played a McDonald’s employee, who kept out of trouble by going to work after school each day,” said Calvin, “But after they paid me for the commercial, and I needed a real job, they wouldn’t even hire me at their restaurant in Queens. Now I’m wanted for first degree murder.”
While many are angered by McDonald’s’ approach to advertising at target markets, a press release from the restaurant concerning these issues has been released, as follows.
“We at McDonalds do not encourage the exploitation of African-Americans, or any other race, for that matter, in our advertising campaigns. As history will show, the first Ronald McDonald was a Black man. In a time where racism was strong, we gave that man a chance, by putting him in a clown suit, and painting him white.”
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