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by
1 January, 1997@12:00 am
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Spokane, WA – After long weeks of soul searching and numerous attempts to bring inner peace to himself, Redman4975 has finally become the person he’s always wanted to be. Signing up with America Online, Redman4975 feels that he now can express his individuality, to a worldwide community of people who share similar ideas and interests to his own.

“I feel so complete now. With my new AOL account, now is my chance to really say, ‘Hey world, listen to me! I like Redman!’ You know? I finally feel like I am somebody now, not just some nobody. My name is Redman4975,” he said in the Hip-Hop Coffee chathouse on AOL.

Other users of the Hip-Hop Coffee community have noticed Redman4975′s leap into virtual stardom, but not everyone is happy.

“Redman4975? Uh, yeah I know him. All he does is type Redman lyrics in the chat room. He’s really annoying”, said user Jon Rogers, also known as user JONROG70.

“You know, he’s a real asshole. I thought he was the real Redman, so we met up downtown, and he got me pregnant. What a jerk,” said Lisa Wilson, also known as user 2CUTE23.

“Who does this guy think he is? Stealing my name like that? What a biter,” said user Redman6062.

But Redman4975 hasn’t let this negative criticism stop him from living his life to the fullest.

“I feel like a whole new man. I was at a party the other night, and these girls came up to me and said, ‘Hey, aren’t you Redman4975?’ I was like, ‘Bitch, I thought you knew.’ It was dope.”

Redman4975 stresses that he should not at all be confused with Def Jam rapper Redman, also known as Reggie Noble.

“No see, there’s no reason for that. See, I am Redman4975, he is just Redman”, he said.

Nevertheless, Redman4975 hopes to release his first album sometime next year, and aims to collaborate with the actual Redman on the album.

“The way I see it is, he get’s on my album, then I’ll return the favor and get on his album, no big deal,” said Redman4975. “We might even form a group, you know? Like Redman4975 and Redman. Maybe hook up with Erick Sermon and RZA or something. I don’t know…If I’m up to it.”

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