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1 January, 2000@12:00 am

New York, NY – While many were expecting computer systems to fail, terrorists to attack, or even the Second Coming Of Christ, the only shock of New Year’s 2000 was the spontaneous combustion of superstar entertainer Busta Rhymes. Apparently, the rapper was in a hotel room in New York City, just before the ball dropped in Times Square. At approximately 11:59:30 A.M., he started shaking, screaming and pulling his hair, when finally, at the stroke of midnight, his body caught on fire, and exploded into a million pieces, setting the entire hotel room aflame.

“It was horrible, he had been like this all week”, said his wife, who was in the hotel room with him at the time of his internal detonation. “He kept repeating ‘There’s only one week left; there’s only one day left; there’s only one minute left, when finally he just exploded. This is so terrible”, the teary widow added.

“He was the greatest rapper of all time”, said a fan. “It’s a shame he had to blow up like that.”

According to Elektra, Busta Rhymes was hard at work on his new album, but only three tracks had been completed. Label reps say that they plan to gather up many of his old, unused lyrics and put them over new beats, complete with new lyrics from Rampage The Last Boyscout, Kane & Able, and Project Pat, among other guests. There are also plans for another Flipmode Squad album, a greatest hits album, a remix project, and a Leaders Of The New School reunion album. Discussions have been held about possibly digitally remastering “Higher Learning” and his series of Mountain Dew commercials, for release on separate DVD’s.  “In no way are we trying to cash in on his death,” the label’s A&R. “It’s what Busta would have wanted.”

  Mixtape D.L.
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