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26 June, 2000@12:00 am

HEAVEN – With the recent release of Master P’s comeback album “Only God Can Judge Me”, P returned to the rap game after last year’s temporary retirement album, “The Last Don”.  Earlier this year, in fear of bad album reviews and negative press generated by his coming out of retirement so quickly, P had this to say:

“My new album will be called “Only God Can Judge Me”, as I will not be submitting advance copies to The Source, Vibe, Forbes, or any other publication. The only one who will receive an advance copy of this album for review, will be God.”

After a month of fully listening and absorbing Master ‘s new album, God appeared, parting the Pacific Ocean to make his appearance on earth, so that He could give His review. Lightning struck and rains poured, as the physical manifestation of God appeared on Thursday, with His muscular physique, and long white beard flowing in the wind. After making his entrance, He then spoke.

“This shit is fucking booty, son,” spoke His Righteousness, “and because thou hast broken each of The 10 Commandments, or lied about doing so on this album, your soul of will be banished to Hell to suffer for eternal damnation,” God concluded.

Before opening the golden gates of Heaven, and returning to His throne above the clouds, God then spoke again.

“Percy, as The Lord God Almighty Exalted, it is my divine right to grant thou forgiveness if thou retires completely from rapping, and rather, spreads My word. If thou decides to defy Me, I shall unleash the wrath of fire and brimstone, and thou shall righteously feel My rage an fury.” Apparently, God gave this same option to Mase earlier this year, and Reverend Run before that.

At this point, Master P has not decided what choice he will take, but his management is saying that he may either try to become a reverend, preaching God’s word through rap, or he may simply “buy God out”.

  Mixtape D.L.
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