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Outspoken Emcee Stabbed A Record of 103 Times; Also Bitten Repeatedly By Pack Of Wild Dogs

New York, NY – Rapper 50 Cent, who received major press and radio play from his single, “How To Rob” a humorous song about how he fantasized about robbing the industry’s top rap-stars, was stabbed 103 times last weekend, as he was leaving The Tunnel, early Sunday morning.

Apparently, the rapper was confronted by a large group of popular rap artists outside of the club, led by Ja Rule who stood in the front of the crowd. Ja Rule, who according to witnesses, opened a switchblade with the flick of the wrist, asking “Are you ready to rock, punk,” at which point the fray began.

50 Cent, who was knocked over immediately, was then charged by over 75 emcees, many whom were upset about their names being mentioned in his song “How To Rob”. Witnesses say among the angry mob of rappers / stabbers, were both LL Cool J and Canibus, who seemed to have formed an alliance.

“Well, we had to put our differences aside and come together for one common cause,” said Canibus.

“Yeah, it was cool, I like working with Canibus again,” said Cool J.

Other rappers, who were not mentioned in the song, also showed up for the stabbing.

“I mean, he didn’t really dis me in particular”, said Ghostface Killah, “But, you know, he’s tryin’ to come out by sayin’ everyone else’s names and shit, so you know, the god had to roll up on him – purple gorilla maxin’, chain with Jesus hangin’ off.”

“Yeah you know, I had to put it down for the south”, said Trick Daddy.

After being stabbed over one-hundred and three times in virtually ever part of his body, the rapper’s luck got even worse, when he was suddenly attacked by a pack of rabid dogs, who bit him repeatedly. Witnesses say, among the dogs were many a ferocious pitbull, along with one wild golden retriever.

“I don’t think it was a dog, actually. I think it was a dingo. The really crazy yellow one was a dingo,” said Fifty.

According to Ja Rule, who coordinated the event, the dogs were not a part of the plan, but actually showed up at the last minute.

As of today, 50 Cent remains in the hospital in a full body cast, with his life is on the line. Yet the ambitious rapper hopes to pull through, to finish the recording of “How To Rob Part 2″, by the weekend.

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