21 April, 2000@12:00 am
Oakland, CA – Digital Underground frontman, Shock G, made a shocking revelation today in an interview with MTV news. Apparently, the rapper has been elusively masquerading as fellow D.U. rapper, Humpty Hump, for more than ten years.
“Um, yeah….. I thought you knew,” Shock told MTV, “It’s just a cheap pair of Groucho glasses, a cigar, and a funny hat. It was a joke.”
This confession has led to a whirlwind of new concerns, from his former record label, the record industry, and his fans.
“Wait, you mean to tell me that we’ve been signing two checks for Humpty and Shock, when all this time there has only been one person in Digital Underground? Horseshit! I don’t believe one word of that,” said Tommy Boy’s Chris Atlas.
“You know, now that I think of it, I don’t think we ever had them in the same room together,” said BET’s Big Lez. “I could even go as far as saying that when Shock left the room, he went in the back room and put on the…. naw, it can’t be.”
“I always knew there was something up with that Shock G fella,” said an officer of the Oakland Police Department, “But the real problem now is figuring out what happened to the real Humpty Hump. That’s the scary part.”
“Man, ya’ll dumb motherfuckers. I knew that shit from day one,” said a local Oakland fan. “I can’t believe ya’ll couldn’t figure out that Humpty was dressing up and pretending to be that Shock G guy. Ya’ll stupid.”
“Sure, and now you are going to tell me that my sex packets don’t work,” said another fan.
Since Shock G’s confession, investigators also have leads on cases that may prove other rappers have secret identities as well. Similar connections have been made between Kool Keith & Dr. Dooom, LL Cool J & Royce the 5’9, and Ras Kass & Ja Rule, but nothing yet has been proven.
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