I Ain't Havin' That

50 Cent Stabbed By Ja Rule, EPMD, Canibus, Jay-Z, RZA, Sticky Fingaz, Fat Joe, Nas, White Dog, Trina The Baddest Bitch, Tone Loc, others

Outspoken Emcee Stabbed A Record of 103 Times; Also Bitten Repeatedly By Pack Of Wild Dogs

New York, NY – Rapper 50 Cent, who received major press and radio play from his single, “How To Rob” a humorous song about how he fantasized about robbing the industry’s top rap-stars, was stabbed 103 times last weekend, as he was leaving The Tunnel, early Sunday morning….

I Ain't Havin' That

Special Ed To Hold Massive E-Bay Sale Of Prized Possessions

Rapper To Include 74 Honda Scooters and Solid Gold Bone In 10-Day Auction.

I Ain't Havin' That

Juvenile Achieves Inexpensive, Natural Gold Teeth Through Lack Of Brushing

New Orleans – Cash Money Millionaire and southern rapper, Juvenile, pioneer of the “bling bling” fashion trend, recently discovered what aims to be the next craze in hip-hop style – natural gold teeth.

I Ain't Havin' That

God Reaches Verdict on Master P Album

HEAVEN – With the recent release of Master P’s comeback album “Only God Can Judge Me”, P returned to the rap game after last year’s temporary retirement album, “The Last Don”. Earlier this year, in fear of bad album reviews and negative press generated by his coming out of retirement so quickly, P had this to say…

I Ain't Havin' That

Furious Rapping Duo Terrorizes Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame

New York, NY – The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame was turned upside down this past weekend, when it was attacked by two angry rapping men, dressed in black leather, both wearing pairs of white Adidas tennis shoes.

I Ain't Havin' That

So Called ‘Hip-Hop Fan’ Doesn’t Even Know Who Orb The Living Vortex Is

Trenton, NJ – So-Called “Hip-Hop fan”, Raymond Catz of Trenton, New Jersey, doesn’t even know who Orb The Living Vortex is. This was discovered Friday, when Catz was discussing who he thought the dopest emcee was, on an internet discussion board. Catz, who then voted for Redman, was then attacked by the entire population of users on the news group for not recognizing the talent of Orb The Living Vortex….

I Ain't Havin' That

Dr. Dre Compiles List Of Pirate MP3 Traders and Favorite Korn MP3′s

Beverly Hills, CA – Superstar rap producer, Dr. Dre, has taken the next step in his lawsuit against Napster, by compiling a list of users who are illegally trading his music using the Napster software. It is reported that Dre is also using the software to compile a list of his favorite MP3′s from Korn….

I Ain't Havin' That

DMX Offers “Ryding” As Safe Alternative to “Skating” or “Dying”

OHIO – In an attempt to keep inner-city youth off the streets and out of trouble, rapper DMX introduced the option of “Ryding”, as a new choice to take, when offered the tempting and dangerous paths of “Skating” or “Dying”. Since the 1980′s, “skating” has been the number one catalyst in turning innocent young teens into hardcore criminals and drug lords. Other teenagers, who couldn’t accept the choice of skating, simply chose death, leaving 32% of adolescents dead by the age of 21. DMX announced at Ohio City High School on Wednesday, that he hoped to change these alarming mortality rates by introducing the new option of “Ryding”….

I Ain't Havin' That

Nations Pranksters Celebrate Annual “Fuck With Dre Day”

Beverly Hills, CA – Dr. Dre had a pretty frustrating Friday last week, as jokers across the United States recognized the national holiday, “Fuck With Dre Day”.

I Ain't Havin' That

Area 12-Year Purchases Factual Evidence That 2Pac Still Lives On E-Bay

Boise, ID – Local Boise resident, twelve year old Tommy Johnston, discovered proof that supposedly deceased rapper, Tupac Shakur, has in fact faked his death, and still lives, under an assumed name in an undisclosed location.

I Ain't Havin' That

DJ T-Shirt Fails To Make Area DJ Any Better At Being An Area DJ

Tacoma, WA – Local Washington resident, Brad Green, also known as DJ Skillator, was disappointed to find out that his performance on the turntables had not improved at all, after purchasing an entire DJ-related wardrobe, consisting of several t-shirts from Tribal, plus various hats and jackets from Extra Strength….

I Ain't Havin' That

Ricky Martin Admits To Writing “Thong Song” For Sisqo

“It was supposed to be something special between the two of us”, says former Menudo member.

I Ain't Havin' That

BREAKING: Humpty Hump Actually Shock G Wearing Plastic Nose And Glasses!

Oakland, CA – Digital Underground frontman, Shock G, made a shocking revelation today in an interview with MTV news. Apparently, the rapper has been elusively masquerading as fellow D.U. rapper, Humpty Hump, for more than ten years….

I Ain't Havin' That

Report: Foxy Brown Still Not Naked

Brooklyn, NY – As fans eagerly approach the release date of Foxy Brown’s upcoming release “Chyna Doll”, the status of her uniform remains the same, as she is still not naked.

I Ain't Havin' That

Estimated $17.2 Billion Dollars Thrown Around In Rap Videos Last Year

WALL STREET – After an exhausting year, financial experts estimate that almost 17.2 billion dollars was frivolously tossed around in rap videos in 1999. This was surprisingly double the amount of what was thrown around by these ultra rich, care-free rappers in 1998.